I ran across this while looking for a clip for a video. I love this little exchange...

(P.S. Does Wilson just lurk inside his office door in case House bellows for him? That man seriously did not jump up from his desk and sprint to the door in that short amount of time.)

Should my next House video be along these lines? Sort of like the RSL Techno Song, but taken a few steps further?





(P.S. The Pirates one is inspired by the LotR one. A friend of Spider's brother made the Pirates one. Thanks to Spider for sending me the link to the Pirates one!)

Two fun sketches for you tonight. First, "The Hedge Sketch."



And now, a sketch in which Stephen reminds me of my grandmother, and I hope that's a sentence I never type again! One of my very favorites. (Contains a few Lord's-name-in-vains.)

This could very well be my favorite stocking stuffer ever:



Fred Garvin not included...

And neither was a purple hat with a feather, incidentally. At least the leopard-print trim is there though. :)

I've got to figure out exactly how much of this stuff I can put out at my cubicle without getting canned.

A bit early, but that's okay. I'm having fun and listening to music and enjoying my last vacation day! :)






January
First post: The same way I start every year, Pinky: the lastest Bob-n-Heather picture.
Memorable moments:

• Jan. 1: Squirrel passed away
• Jan. 2: First day of the painfully short reign of "The Other Heather"
• Jan. 9: "Good night, Wilson." The world somehow survives the Tritter arc
• Jan. 11: I adopt House and Wilson (the rats, that is)
• Jan. 13: The world is plagued by the seventh "How to Save a Life" House video and I weep for the future of humanity. My on-going joke with A about how this song is everywhere is born.
  
• Jan. 18: iPod died; got a new one mere hours later
• Jan. 27: I become a shipper. Flori/House is my OTP!
• Jan. 30: The horrific "One Day, One Room" airs and a million memes are born overnight, including, "I don't know!"

February
First post: My 1,000th blog entry!
Memorable moments:

• Feb. 4: 1,000th blog entry, which is a roundup of my favorite posts
•  Feb. 7: I find the Vampiro Adolescente poster on eBay, spawning a whole new era personally and Capslock-ily
• Feb. 10: Wilson… IN 3-D! (AKA RSL reads Flori and me a story at the Getty)
• Feb. 16: I read the "House gets brain cancer" spoiler and worry for weeks about House going the way of bad!fic
• Feb. 28: I post on CLH for the first time. What took me so long?!

March
First post: Stressing over whether I should go to Connecticut for the Lemon Demon concert.
Memorable moments:

• March 6: "House get brain cancer" airs and I take back everything bad I said about the writers. I still do enjoy that episode, but "NEEDS MOAR WILSON!"
• March 16: I joke about House and Wilson being like Bert and Ernie. Little did I know the meme I was spawning.
• March 18: I create and post my very first House video: "Wilson Worries Too Much."
• March 24: I predict tracks from the House MD soundtrack. I get only five correct.
• March 28: Car paid off!

April
First post: A sneak-peek at the now infamous "House MD is a Daytime Talk Show" video
Memorable moments:

• April 11: Hangin' with Nathan Fillion, watching Drive.
• April 12: Hangin' with Ethan Luck after the Relient K concert
• April 17: "I'll miss you! You were a good friend." "Act Your Age" airs, finally mending the H-W friendship.
• April 19: Connecticut adventure!
• April 28: RSL Techno Song. (Need I say more?)

May
First post: A discussion of House fanon
Memorable moments:

• May 1: The Hector Paradox is born
• May 3: "House MD is a Daytime Talk Show," my first House music video, is posted
• May 5: "House MD is a Daytime Talk Show" hits #29 in English Entertainment on YouTube
• May 8: SPEEEEEEEEED!
• May 24: Baby's first House MST
• May 27: RiffTrax LIVE, baby!
• May 30: DeletionGate 2007, with deletions so wide-spread, even *I* was in danger of causing one of my comms  to get deleted

June
First post: List of season-three House spoilers I knew before they aired.
Memorable moments:

• June 2: "Does Tritter Creep You Out?" is posted. Still one of my favorites.
• June 5: So long, "Other Heather." Hello, New Boss. :( :( :(
• June 10: I attend the world's worst-organized concert at Universal
• June 15: I discover that Triumph the Insult Dog was mere feet from RSL and didn't interview him. I am depressed.
• June 17: "Wilson's TV is Broken" is posted
  
• June 18: I discover the awesomeness that is H's vids, soon to be followed by discovering the awesomeness that is H!
• June 19: I throw a party for the 20th "How to Save a Life" House video.
• June 30: "House Has Got It All Worked Out" is posted.

July
First post: A quote from Pastor Greg about Mary
Memorable moments:

• July 7: I post my first House fanfic.
• July 15: Quizno's? Fantastic!
• July 21: Car is broken into, Weird Al concert, and Hugh Laurie concert. Busy day!
• July 22: I give RSL his very own mini Vampiro Adolescente poster
• July 29: My PPTH site is discovered and I drown in e-mails

August
First post: My PPTH site has received 181 e-mails
Memorable moments:

• August 6: I decide I need to JOIS
• August 15: Jessifer part ways
• August 18: "Ode to 'Surviving the Applewhites'" is posted

September
First post: Squeeing over a favorite fanfic author swapping e-mails with me
Memorable moments:

• Sept. 4: A sign warning about a security camera spoils my fun
• Sept. 6: After four months of trying, I finally own the dosimeters!
• Sept. 12: Interview!
• Sept. 15: NextFest
• Sept. 18: I leave Blogger for LiveJournal
• Sept. 20: I start the daily drabbles. As predicted, that lasts two weeks.
• Sept. 21: "House and Wilson Feel Fantastic!" is posted
• Sept. 23: I don't let the security camera deter me
• Sept. 24: RSL mentions me in an inteview (sorta)
• Sept. 28: TNG's 20th anniversary

October
First post: The world's best RSL interview (Vienna fingers, etc)
Memorable moments:

• Oct. 4: The Wilson and Quizno's pages on Wikipedia get vandalized with my Quizno's meme
• Oct. 8: I bring home Dog B for the first time
• Oct. 20: "What Happened to Us?" my first serious House video, is posted
• Oct. 23: I return Dog B to her family
• Oct. 26: Some chick got born 29 years ago today

November
First post: RSL clip songs remastered
Memorable moments:

• Nov. 10: "House Asks, 'How Many?'" is posted, bringing the "Bert and Ernie, House-style" count to three.
• Nov. 12: My life is completed by hearing Hugh Laurie explain the rules of Quidditch
• Nov. 13: My favorite season-four episode so far, "Ugly," airs. "OBVIOUSLY it was a witch hunt."
• Nov. 14: "House Asks, 'How Many?'" is #20 for Entertainment on YouTube
• Nov. 18: "Turkey Day," my favorite fanfic to date that I wrote, is posted
• Nov. 25: My new GPS has an Aussie accent

December
First post: I recognize Kal Penn's voice
Memorable moments:

• Dec. 5: Adios, my pet rats! I love you!
• Dec. 11: "Focus," my second serious House video, is posted
• Dec. 20: They say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is...

I found an online haiku generator that makes haikus out of LJ posts. I fed it this journal and my Housey one and these were some of the results. I wrote the titles, which are bold. The plain text is the poem, such as it is.





Tax Season
receipts so i can
keep secrets the biggest change
in my family

Shopping at Jo-Ann's is Hard
present it to you
and don't worry the worst
part was getting cloths

Wilson and I Go way Back
jimmy heather age
7 and some when i was a
heathen or maybe

Nadine?
is this is what i
would name him susan if i
had a heart as big

He was Expecting 101
house was now sporting
a frown when they had sat down
to exactly 100

Jack Sparrow Approves
potatoes and rum this
was cuddy's best idea
or worst movie night

Violence Ensues
is a vampire to
follow them and punish them
and punish them and

Philosophical Slash?
same thing he leers a
little turns out if wilson
had been the key once

Eulogy, as Written by Wilson
once being a true
friend who was house to figure
out each mystery

As part of my never-ending quest to find more fresh content to listen to at work ("NEED MOAR PODCASTS!"), I have "enrolled" myself in two Stanford classes: "Quantum Mechanics" and "The Future of the Internet." I'll be listening in on each lecture (in the case of the Quantum Mechanics course, I even have the option of watching a video of the lecture, while the internet class offers PDF handouts), but I won't have to buy any books or take any tests. Of course, I don't get any college credit whatsoever. I'm just "visiting" these classes. But it's rather hard to pass up a Stanford education on some of my favorite topics for free!

This should be fun. :)

All hope is not lost. Here's where House stood as of last month, taken from a FOX press release:






HOUSE:

• Ranks as FOX’s No. 1 program across the majority of key demos, including Adults 18-49, Adults 18-34 and Total Viewers
• Ranks as the No. 2 regular primetime program among Adults 18-49, Adults 18-34 and Teens
• Ranks No. 1 in its Tuesday 9:00 PM time period among all key demos
• Is the season’s only Top 5 returning drama to post year-to-year gains among Adults 18-49 (up 18% versus last year’s comparable telecasts)
• Is the only program to rank among the season’s Top 5 primetime programs across Adults 18-49, Adults 18-34 and Teens.

House is also the number-one time-shifted TV show, when it's not in re-runs. It'll be interested to see if it comes back for a fifth season. Since everyone's contract expires at the end of season five except for Hugh, I doubt there will be a sixth season. 'Tis sad...

Two reasons I love my church, both from this morning. I particularly enjoyed the bridge at 1:52 in the first link and the choir's "aa-ooh"s in the second link.

Merry Christmas from us wacky "Calvary Chapel bunchers"!

One of the things I ran out of time for in New England back in April was the famous (infamous?) Mütter Museum in Pennsylvania. Well, I'm going back to New England in May to hang out at PPTH with H before she graduates and to attend Dave's graduation in Boston. So guess who is finally getting to the Mütter Museum??? :-D

I'm thrilled!

I mean, seriously, how can I call this a true vacation until I've seen the woman with the horn growing out of her skull, conjoined twins' conjoined liver, and a growth removed from John Wilkes Booth?

I really hope they allow photography!

I am currently rocking out to a Weird Al song on infinite loop (it's next in the queue to become a House video, so I'm obsessing over it at the moment) while cleaning the condo... while dancing around like a loon and lip-syncing to the song and pretending to play the drums.

...

Why yes, I am 12. How did you guess!

Heather, who gabbed on the phone for almost three hours until the wee hours of the morning last night. I swear, my guy friends and I are all such tween girls. ;-)

This is from the British game show "QI" (which stands for "Quite Interesting"), hosted by Stephen Fry. I wish desperately that the series aired here, or that it was available on DVD. In any event, here's a taste of what we're missing. Poor Stephen simply cannot get through his tidbit of info...

I faxed Mr. Cronin my vet receipt this morning, and this afternoon he called me to tell me that he had personally walked over to the department's financial officer, had the officer cut a check from petty cash, and that he, Mr. Cronin, was now holding that check in his hand as he spoke to me. He asked if I wanted it mailed to me, or if I wanted to come pick it up today. I said mail would be just fine, thank you. He said he also wanted to call to thank me once again for bringing this matter to his attention and for reuniting the dog with her family.

Hooray for useful government workers. Don't find those every day!

Yesterday I called San Bernardino Animal Control and asked how one would go about filing a complaint against the Devore Animal Shelter. I was immediately transfered to the Division Chief of Animal Care and Control. I told him my story and he was very attentive. (Though he seemed most concerned about the missed chip and not really concerned about the twice-swapped dogs.) He asked me to e-mail him the details. I did so last night.

Today I received this e-mail from him:

---

Good Evening Ms. Ham,

Thank you for taking the time to write the summary below and for forwarding your concerns to me for review and appropriate action. I will be meeting with the staff members involved and where appropriate disciplinary action will be taken to ensure this situation will not happen again. Since this matter was brought to my attention, two (2) directives have been issued to staff regarding our procedures for scanning all animals for microchips upon admission to the shelter and prior to any disposition of an animal including adoption. In addition, a further directive has been issued to my staff regarding claims submitted to the Risk Management division of San Bernardino County on behalf of actions and/or activities involving the Animal Care and Control Division. These matters will be forwarded to me in the future for my personal review and response.

In closing, as we discussed, I would like to assist you in processing a refund for the $80.00 which you have paid for veterinary expenses involving the pet mentioned. Please forward to me copies of your receipts so I can process this claim on your behalf. If you have access to a fax machine, please fax the receipts to my attention at [his FAX number].

Again, thank you for your time and the efforts you have made to reunite this pet with its original owner. Your help and assistance is truly appreciated.

Respectfully,
Brian Cronin
Division Chief
San Bernardino County
Department of Public Health
Animal Care & Control Division

---

Now THAT'S fast service. :) I told him about it just yesterday and already there are two directives issued. Now whether that's just talk to make everyone feel good or if it will actually change things at the shelter, I don't know, but you can't argue that this wasn't a timely response! And I'm glad to know he's going to go talk to the shelter staff. As I suspected, SB County Animal Control had no idea what's going on at that shelter.

Good show, Mr. Cronin. I'm quite happy to pay your salary with my tax money. You've earned it.

Some bozo in Beijing hacked my eBay account and sent out spam to people selling iPhones and mp3 players, telling them to visit his tech site and to e-mail for details or some such. Creepily enough, that means he had access to my home address, phone number, and e-mail address, though presumably he was only interested in the eBay and e-mail accounts. Thankfully, my eBay account is tied to an old e-mail address I only use for spam (which is how I missed eBay trying to get ahold of me to tell me what was going on), and that password is different from the eBay password, so he couldn't access my e-mail, and even if he could, he wouldn't find it very useful.

Gotta hand it to eBay though. They immediately realized what was going on, froze my account, changed my password, and sent out letters to the two dozen people the thief contacted under my name, explaining that it wasn't actually me.

Thankfully the moron was just interested in sending out spam and not purchasing anything or swindling bidders out of money, so my feedback wasn't affected.

eBay was so awesome though. Not only were they proactive in shutting that guy down and explaining to all involved parties what happened, but they were very friendly to talk to and got me up and running in no time. I wasn't really inconvenienced at all. Good show, eBay! :) You made me a happy customer.

Another not-funny House video, this time set to the song "Focus" by John Reuben. A tribute to the now-completed Survivor arc, this video contains spoilers through 4x09, "Games."

Concerns the disillusionment of growing up, and the cost of joining, or leaving, House's team.

...And includes some kid actors you may just recognize. :)

High-quality MP4 (22 MB)

YouTube compressed this song practically beyond recognition, so my apologies for the atrocious sound. I recommend the MP4 above.

Apparently all my favorite fandoms have gay witches in them, but it takes years for them to be found out.

Or something.

IDK, my BFF Jimmy?

When I was a little kid, I had a fill-in-the-blank Romona-themed diary. I was reading through it last night, cracking myself up. I thought all y'all might enjoy some of the hilarity. Some of it was written when I was 7 and some when I was 8. Plain text is pre-printed diary prompts and bold is yours truly. So sad that I couldn't even spell my "best friend"'s name correctly!


My name is Heather A (Last name)
I live at 16702 [it goes on to list my street], Covian
I go to school at 9:00
I'm in the 3 grade.

My other relatives are named anut Dawn and Judy 2 Grandmas & Grandpas

I have a pet named Corky
He/she is a cock-a-po
He/she is 8 months years old
This is how we got him/her: we wanted to have a pet so we got him
The pet I would like to have is a Bird
I would name him/her Susan
If I could have a wild animal for a pet, it would be a aranatain
And I would name it arany

My favorite color is tan
My best friend is Lora
My other friends are named Becky Chrisy lyana lyana

This is what I like about myself: I'm specal to God.
I don't like these things about myself: I broke my th tooth
This year I'm going to change this about myself: I will not sass mom or dad.
This year I hope this wish comes true: We got to Disneyland. (And I made the dot over the "i" a star. Ugh...)

My favorite present was Comic strip Factory
My most disappointing gift was clothes tooth
Other presents I got were jumprope kid's cook book and soon, The missing piece, giving tree
The best event of the holiday was seeing Grandma & Grandpa. (I drew a very fancy typographical & sign there.)
The worst part was getting cloths.
The funniest thing was knowing theres no shu sach as santa cluse and seeing Gifts.

I was glad to get back to school because I like being with my mom.
But in some ways I was sad to go back because I could not whach T.V.
These things happened to my friends during the holidays: they all got prestents.
My best subjects in school are Math & reading
My worst subject is fonecs

My nickname is Heath
The funniest nickname anyone ever calls me is Heather Letherbys
The nickname I hate most is Heath
If I could pick a nickname for myself it would be Heathy
If I have children, I'll name them ? Ana, rebeca, sussan.

I love rainy days because I like to snuggle.
But sometimes I don't like them because can't play with *Macintosh
*Apple's computer. (Yes, I seriously did do that with the asterisk and all. SUCH a nerd, even at age 8...)

I had to be brave to tack take My Medisen
It was especially scary because it tasted bad
This is the bravest thing I ever heard of anyone doing: is walking on a roof.

This is the most exciting secret that I was told recently: is blakk Magic (TOLD you I was a heathen! Or maybe a Buffy fan in the making?)

(And then just randomly on a page:)

I Don't like carots careits!

Everyone laughed this month in school when I thout a girl sheperd was a sheeperd.
This is what my school did specially for Thanksgiving: Nothing
I felt sad in school this month when mommy was sick

(There's a place to draw your own Christmas card. Mine is a square with a big X through it with fancy corners where the tips of the X meet the corner of the square. Inside is written "No Bear." I have NO idea what that's all about!)

Sometimes, when I am alone, I make believe that I work at the vet!
Sometimes my friends and I make believe that we are robots
This make-believe could come true someday I'm at Disneyland. (Again with the star over the "i.")

This person is a new friend I've made this year: Lora
I like him/her because she likes me.
We first got to be friends when we met each other.
This is the person I've been friends with the lonest: Candy
We've been friends for 3-1/2 years. I like him/her because she is fun. (Is it sad that I have no memory of this "Candy" person?)

If I earn a million dollars someday, I would like it to be because I drew good drawings
This is what I would do for my family if I were rich and famous: buy toys and books.
This is what I would treat myself to if I were rich and famous: icecream cone & toys

I'm smarter in this way than I was las January: I'm in therd third grade!
I've become a nicer person in this way: I became a Christan.
I know I'm more grown-up than I was last January because I'm 8
The even that helped me grow up the most this past year was school
The biggest change in my family over the last year was mom got 10 lottry tickets one was a two doller 1, she got two tickets they where both winners of 2 dollers. she got two more tickets they where not winning tickets
(I neglected to mention the tickets were a gift, but I do love how a boring story of losing lottery tickets is THE BIGGEST CHANGE!!! What, like typically we win big in the lottery?)
I am proud of myself because ?????????????
I still worry about some things I worry about last year. Things such as: the guy named saitan
Writing in this diary has shown me some things about myself, such as: I can kepe secrets.
The biggest change that is coming up for me next year is writing 1987!

I will keep this diary to read when I grow up. Signed Heather A. (Last name) 

Here we are.
Isn't life bizarre?
It likes to take from us and throw it out.
We'll carry on;
What's done is done.
Yeah, we'll do without it somehow.

The world is gone. Don't think about it,
'Cause life is short. We'll do without it.
They say the road is long. Don't think about it.
'Cause life is short. We'll do without it.

We can move on forward.
Don't worry,
The best we've known is yet to come.
We can move on forward.
Don't worry,
The worst won't get the best of us.

— "Without It," MuteMath

You know that tiger in the news right now that mauled the guy so badly in Acton? The tiger's name is Alexander.

I have fed, scooped up the poop of, and perhaps petted Alexander.

When I heard the interview with shelter-owner Tippi Hedren on "The John and Ken Show" today, a chill went up my spine when she said that Alexander came from the Tiger Preserve in Colton. She went on to describe the horrible conditions the tigers were kept in at the "preserve" and the court case that followed. She ended up with three of the tigers from the Colton preserve. As in, three of the tigers I volunteered for four years ago.

Yikes...

This isn't Alexander, but one of his buds, Couch: